crack. well i was told to update which i agree with becaue it is a good outlet. there is a good bit goin on i have to rant about. ill break it down with today. it was kinda cool, i definately drove all the way to shippensburg to tear down the easiest job ever. then talked to the guys for half an hour on the clock about masturbating and blowjobs. but guys dont talk about cunnilingus. i dont understand. i will shoot off at the mouth about goin down south. but i guess most guys dont appreciate it quite like i do. then i got on my new bike and it rocks. i rode around town for a bit then i hit the greenbelt trail. besides the insane hills you need a dirtbike to tackle, she definately ripped that shit up. then i hung out with cara which is always a whirlwind. shes defiantely an awesome friend and i go out the like 'yeah this is gonna rock' then i leave like 'fuck' i dont get it. its like you want a bowl of chocolate ice cream more than anything in the world, so much to the point you would kill for a bow. so then you sit beside a tub of chocolate ice cream and you cant eat it. definately sucks. i like to think its not my fault that i cant have the ice cream but then it has to be. i like to think we have control over all our situations to at least attempt to make them better. but i guess sometimes theres only so much you can do. and i hate quittin anything but fuck. this is past old. how many times will you put a fork in the plug socket before you learn. but if you feel something is that worth it youll do some pretty dumb shit. and to what end? to keep doing it and doing it for no apparent reason? for fuckin crackheads to get the chance you want so bad and they're like 'ah fuck this' and dumb shit happens? when will other people learn? "hey theres a porshe in my garage but ill keep riding these random broken scooters to work and so im late everyday and the rest of my life falls apart as a result" fuck this. i cant keep sittin here in the garage. id like to think there is someone that would appreciate a good thing but these broads are so fucking stupid as the previous analogy shows. so fuck 'em im not gonna feel sorry. if you want to do the most idiotic thing you can think of and get hurt as a result then thats all on you. ill have no part anymore. ive been completely retarded for like 7 years now.fuck i didnt even shit myself for that long. what the fuck. its amazing what the effect of other people can have on an otherwise intelligent rational person. so i said it before and i will repeat it, fuck people. its impossible to remain logical and interact with people without killing someone or internally combusting so fuck it. its not worth it. why expel all this energy and stress to hang with people? fuck it. playstation stays plugged in for all that bitch. so its not even worth gettin all stressed out about because simpply; fuck it. people lie, people use you, people cast you off when you'd be the best thing for them, people are ass holes. so fuck people. damn this journal is a great idea.

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