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Chapter 4
Sunday. 11.27.05 8:25 am
which very beutifully displayed, after hanging with the broad she finally plants the seed of doubt and makes him think hes crazy. fuck the entire world couldnt convince him, one broad did. more proof of the evil of women. kind of like the whole adam and eve story. girls like to make cutesy comments about guys being dogs, or just after sex, but theres huge, good stories of women destroying (symbolically or literally) the entire human race. plus they cant drive. but im gettin off topic again. see! just talkin about them makes me swerve and get off topic and throws off the whole balance (loose use of the word) that was previously this entry. it was good writing til it went downhill at the women.

so back up, a little more irony, is the whole time he KNOWS whats real, and she KNOWS whats real, thus she calls him crazy, and he just calls her ignorant. and only after so much 'in your big-mouthed-face' proof does she finally start to believe. but its too late, she ignorantly called him crazy and deranged for so long that by now he thinks hes crazy and its all futile. fuck people. listen we're born crazy enough we dont need other people distorting views and makin them crazier. fuck i forget where i was goin.

she is the embodiment of my hatred towards psychiatrists. the idea that every brain follows the same pattern and could thus be made into a science in my opinion is worse than the idea of letting lazy people in the army. it doesnt work. there is no possible way you could compare my brain to anyone elses and make a logical evaluation. never. brains are like snowflakes. or a box of chocolates, never know what youre gonna get. hence we have einstien and retards, bach and charles manson. how can you compare all those? you read this crazy ass string of entries, then someone else talking about how much they want to marinate Nelly's balls in flour. theres no comparison. thus you cant make a standard for sanity. now yes, if someone thinks a dragon is flying around them, and goes into rooms swinging a sword around allover the place, hacking up people just drinkin slushies, they should probably be put somewhere. prefereably somewhere without large blades. but think about this, what if you took that person and made a fake dragon fly around their head? what if he killed that farce and then was cured. he sees the dragon, whether its real or not in our scope of reality. so if he kills it then maybe he wouldnt see it any more. maybe we have to tap into some peoples crazy to cure them of it. in the right environment i think a bunch of crazy people would be sane. put the guy from the future in a room filled with futuristic type shit. sure hes crazy, but happy without pumpin him full of drugs. then maybe in that enviornment hes 'sane' becuase his preception is being fulfilled and not distorted. then he could possibly become a productive member of society.

i think some crazy people could be absolute geniuses. if bob thinks he lives on the moon, set him up with a lab that looks like its on the moon. he thinks hes on the moon, so hes satisfied, hes not 'crazily' trying to find a way to the moon, so then he could do his work and could be the one to find the cure for aids. maybe whats making him crazy is he has somehow unlocked part of that extra unknown in his brain. maybe hes seeing something that really is there but we have no idea because that is part of our 90% which dont know whats in there. what if there really is a dragon flying around, but we dont know because we need part of that 90 to see it. but tiny tim is cruisin ay only 80% he cant use. maybe in that extra 10 he discovered the thing thats really there, tries to tell us, but we disregard it and call him crazy because we cant comprehend it. fuck that. makes you wonder how long our ignorance has stunted our growth. besides the obvious, historically recorded instances.

and back to the whole 'changing the environment.' ted thinks he's on the moon, we make it seem like he is on the moon. if he perceives the moon and he thinks hes on it then hes pretty much sane right? he perceives it, accepts it as real, thus hes relatively sane. but, he perceives the moon, and thus his reality is that he is on the moon, yet hes in someones garage in idaho. there again he perceives something, thus its real to him, but its not true. does that make him crazy? i think alot of the crazy out there comes from being lied to. if you put someone in a false environment they come to accept it as reality, when its not, thus an aspect of crazy. and heres a PRIME (no the optimus sort) example. i remember being told about santa claus. my environment said 'hey you little shit, believe in santa or BURN IN FUCKING HELL' ok so santas real. ill send him letters, ill leave him cookies and milk, ill stay up and wait for him to come down my chimney (my house in the ghetto had no chimney yet all the lies that changed my environment made me beileve he would still come down my chimney [which is non existant]). then i found that santa is not real. so lets reword it a little and replace santa with 'the man that doesnt exist' (its still the same thing we're tellin kids, just different wording because: santa = man that doesnt exist. or MTDE because im lazy). so im gonna tell my kid to send mail to the man that doesnt exist. Hey billy! lets leave cookies and milk out for the man who doesnt exist. Hey jill, fuck mom, lets stay up and wait to hear the man that doesnt exist walk on our roof! if you heard someone say any of that youd call em crazy. yet its what millions of kids say every year (just a small change of environment)
3 Comments.


There is so much on which to comment, but given the sickeningly early hour and the insomnia that rules my life, I just want to say, "you get over here and sit next to Megatron!"
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